How I started the book...

I didn't just wake up one day and say to myself, "self...I think you should think about writing
a book."

No, it wasn't quite that immediate. When I started working at a funeral home in 1978, just
as an attendant and assistant to the owner, I began making some notes about some of our
more interesting case calls. A 'case' call is one of the usual nomenclatures used for a death
call that a firm might handle. Each case has usually a year two digit number followed by
a number to designate it's order of being handled; in 1978, the first call of the year would
have been logged as 7801.....so on and so forth. Each file would be issued a manila folder
to hold all the paperwork, obituary notice, itemization, and so on. It's a system that is
still being used pretty much today in the industry.

Anyway, it was in those early years for me that I started to make some early notes.. and
actually put most of them away, as life got a little too busy to even thing about the possibility
of putting them down on paper in some formal fashion.

But after licensing, residency and then actually buying and operating a funeral home, I
started to think more about the possibility of someday writing about those things that
I had been involved with. Of supreme importance was to keep exact details of a death,
and family members names private. Publishing such details would almost in my mind
be a betrayal of public trust... and also very unprofessional. I  also did not want to write
extreme morbid information about a death or death scene. Although some who have
purchased my book have given reviews saying there was not enough of the 'goulish'
factor written...sorry I disappointed them. My intent of the book was to describe the
day to day activities of a funeral director, how he met circumstances presented to him
and how he proceeded. I'd let them go elsewhere for the gore....that wasn't me.

I also wanted to relate in the book some light hearted stories...as humorous things do
indeed happen in our business. It is not all gloom and doom...we do have events happen
that really warm the heart... like one story in the book about the Beagle running through
church.  My editor wanted some lighter moments in my book Undertakings.. and there
are many included.

It wasn't until early 2006 that I physically sat down and started putting pen to
paper.. actually, it was at my old manual typewriter...ha...oh how ancient I actually
am! One day while meeting with a family in Corning and making arrangements,
one family member said to me, "Stan, you ought to think about writing a book
someday."  "Funny" I responded, "I actually have one underway."

And so I started the process.

In a couple of days...how I picked the stories to write about...the most difficult
challenges... and how I overcame them.  Come back for it. SS 

Just in....

Just sent to me from the good folks in Hornell, N.Y. .....thought I'd post early on
this one...I have another visit prior to this one in Almond, more on that coming
up....hope you can attend either.....
tomorrow...back to the book publishing process.

You have an idea...

A few days ago I talked about self publishing and briefly about the whole
publication process....it is a study in itself.

If you Google search self publishing companies, you'll see a whole list of
companies out there that will help you get your proposed book out to the
entire planet. Which ever one you choose...be prepared to do some major
work, because although it is fun and thrilling to toil on a publishing
project, you have to be prepared for a pretty tedious process. Some
companies will do a lot of the work for you, some will want you to have
everything prepared ahead of time..and their respective charges will reflect
those things.  If you are really computer savvy, a lot of the arranging can
be done by yourself. I was not, so I had to rely on a publisher to do a majority
of those things for me.

So you may have a story you want to share....life experiences....a collection of
poems or stories you've written....perhaps a life long hobby that you want
to share....here are some starting points for you.

Search out and join some of the writers sites out there such as Writerscafe.
You can share some of your writings with others...get feedback on yours
and garner some good ideas on how to proceed.

When I contemplated publishing my book, I was fortunate as I had started
 years ago making a few notes of things that I had experienced in the funeral
business that I wanted to some day relate in print. I'm sure that there are many
stories that I had forgotten over time, but you can't remember them all I guess.

Now that you have an idea for a book, whether it be hard copy or electronic,
the next step is to start a formal blue print if you will on how you will put
it all together. This is the one of the biggest steps next to finding that
publisher. Is your story going to be chronological? Should it be?  Will the
story have characters and if so...how will you develop them and their
relationship to each other?  Oh so many questions to contemplate here.

Fortunately, we are living in such a great age that almost any question you
have can be addressed right here at your fingertips. If you ask on line, you
can find the answer...and in most cases, multiple answers on how you should
proceed.

In a few days...how I put together Undertakings of an Undertaker, true stories
of being laid to rest...and how it is helping with book 2 and 3 now underway.
You can reach me anytime at; undertakings@inbox.com 
Would love to hear from you! SS

On finding a publisher....

I've been asked a lot in the last few years about how I went about finding a
good, reputable, and reliable publisher. 

In the next couple of posts here, I'm going to write a little about that most
important quest, the pluses, the minuses and some things one should watch out
for.

You may yourself might be thinking about putting something out in book form,
either in hard copy, or in an electronic edition.  The publishing business has
changed so much in the last five years, it is almost unrecognizable from what
it used to be. Today, almost anyone can self-publish. That is... once you have
a manuscript written, you can have it fine-tuned, edited and organized into a
form that can meet a lot of publishing thresholds.

Five years ago, self publishing was pretty much a dream...but today.. it is the
path that most writers follow. The main publishing houses I found out years
ago are almost impossible to talk to. Unless you are Steven King, or James
Patterson or the like... the major publishers rarely even return a phone call.
And the ones that do will shock you with what they want up front, just to
even take a look at what you've written. 

I almost fainted away when one publisher in Philadelphia told me he would
really like to publish Undertakings of an Undertaker for me, but he would have
to have $8,500 up front before he could do much. After I resumed some normal
breathing, I told him that I would look around a little bit, but thanked him for
his offer. 
I also had a similar discussion with a fellow in the big apple who actually
quoted me $2,000 more than the first fellow! Well, by now, I was getting a
bit discouraged, but didn't give up.

Then I started looking at the self-publish mode. With self publishing, you do
most of the work ahead of time. You write, find an editor, do the arranging,
front and back covers, forward, etc. etc. There are at least a dozen self
publishing companies that will put your work out on the web for sometimes
just a couple hundred dollars or less.

So I started looking at small publishing companies. Those that are out to help
the first time writer like myself. And after interviewing a few, and comparing
prices, I decided to go with Book Stand Publishing of California. They've
done a great job for me. They helped me market...and still do that on their
website, list it for me on Amazon, B & Noble, etc...take care of filling the orders,
print books as they are needed...and let me know every 30 days how the book
is doing. I've been most pleased. Roughly I'd say I spent a fifth or less than
what the big boys wanted.

If you go to Bookstandpublishing.com, click on bookstore...you'll see my
book today is no. 2 in best sellers with them, no. 2 in product sold, and no. 1
in short stories and essays. And everyone who goes to their site sees my
book continually 'looped' on the home page. They definitely will be doing
my second book, Tales Unleashed coming up before too long.

So....have an idea for a book yourself? I'll be back here in a couple of days
to talk about how you should organize your thoughts... how to start putting
it all in order, and offer some suggestions in looking over all those
self publishing companies out there. Until then, SS.

New engagements coming up...

I love getting out and speaking to groups about my book Undertakings
and the funeral business in general. At my library presentations, I
usually talk about the chore of finding a publisher, the never ending
task of marketing yourself and how to 'stay on track' while you're in
a middle of a writing project.

Coming up pretty soon, a date at the Almond Library, Almond, N.Y.
on Tuesday April 10th at 5:30 p.m. If  you're interested in attending
this little get together, give them a call, and they will fill you in.

Then on Saturday May 12th at 11:00 a.m., I'll be trucking down for
a little talk at the Hornell Public library in Hornell, N.Y.
Again, I think anyone in the area there can attend the event... just
give them a call for details.

If you're thinking about penning a book yourself, you'd enjoy either
one of these events. The whole publication business has changed
significantly in the last several years...and it now offers new
opportunities for those who want to get published, either in a hard
copy book, an electronic book, or both.

The key to success now is that most of it is all done on-line, on the
internet, social media etc. However, those are truly successful
need to get out into the public, physically going from place to
place to promote themselves and their book.

As the old saying used to be, "you have to put a little shoe leather
into the game" ...and it's more important now than ever before.

So, check your calendar.. would love to see you at one of the events
mentioned above!  SS

On cremation, part 3...

This week I've made a couple of posts on cremation, and the many
things that should be considered when you are opting for it.

Those posts below are below, and you can review them and make
any comments that you like.

I want to finish up today with the scattering and/or separation of the
cremains.  If you are not going to bury them in a designated cemetery,
you might opt for separating them into small containers or urns. There
are many products that are made for such a decision. Many times a
family that has 3 or 4 or more siblings or children desire to take part
of the cremains and to have with them, and this is done quite frequently.

If you are considering just scattering on the person's favorite bike path,
hunting land, fishing spot, whatever, I always suggest you first check
with your local town/city to make sure that there are no ordinances
against such. The only one I've ever seen was concerning the placement
of ashes into a reservoir which was used for a town's drinking water...
and I can understand that, although there is nothing in a box of
cremains that would contaminate. It is just ash, fine powder and bone
fragment. 

There are cremains being scattered all around the country probably
while you are reading this post... it happens daily and is not an
unusual occurrence. Again, I go back to my first post made the first
of the week....try to have the person's wishes made known ahead
of time, it sames a lot of anguish and indecision at the time of death.

I hope these three posts have been helpful. As I said on the onset,
more and more people are choosing cremation, so it just makes
sense to talk to a director ahead of time to look at all of the choices
that are available. Any funeral director can give the costs of the
services, products available etc. And there is a lot of cremation
product available on line that can be ordered and sent directly to
you in the privacy of your own home.

Over the years I've placed cremains in a number of different con-
tainers, from cigar boxes, to antique nail boxes, tool boxes,
canning jars, just to name a few.

Hope you've found these posts informative and helpful...and do not
be afraid to ask...knowledge is a powerful tool. Have a great day. SS

Questions about cremation, part 2

A couple of days ago, we started answering some of the
many questions that are asked of funeral directors about
the process of cremation.

It is of course, an irreversible event, so when it's completed,
there is no changing one's mind. The two plus hours at
1500-1800 degrees reduces the body and any container that
surrounded it to some large bone fragments which will
then be put through a chipper- type machine which will
reduce them further.  The cremains are then put in a
plastic bag with a twist tie, and then into a cardboard
box to be returned to the funeral home, and then to
the family. Or they can be loaded directly into an urn
for burial or display if that container is provided ahead of
time.

Many people will keep cremains in their home for awhile
to give time to think about a final 'disposition.'
With the cremains will be a certificate of cremation stating
the deceased's name, date of cremation and where the cremation took place. That piece of paper should stay with the cremains, as it will be needed down the road if they are to be buried in a formal cemetery setting.

Now the tough considerations. Let's look at them one at a  time, as they all have possible ramifications.

Burial-many people want to bury the cremains in a cemetery lot with other family members. No two cemeteries seem to have the same rules about burial of cremains. To find out what the rules are for the cemetery you want to use, contact your local registrar or clerk. They can put you in touch with the cemetery sexton that is in charge of the cemetery in which you want to make burial.
They will give you the rules that apply there.  In most states,
 you do not need a funeral director to bury cremains..
A funeral director is required to facilitate a burial of a whole body.
Again, these things vary state to state, country to country.
I'm old school here. I've always felt that at least
part of the cremains should be buried in a cemetery
so the family has a place to go and visit. That may
sound kind of odd...but I think everyone should have
a final resting place. The blue Marbelon urn pictured
here is a typical one that would be used for
ground burial.


Separation of cremains-many people want to split cremains up among family members..and that is done quite frequently. Small urns such as keepsake urns, about 2" high, are available to put small amounts of cremains in. Also, cremation jewelry is available for people who want to put a few grains of ash in them. Most directors offer a line of cremation product that will satisfy your needs.

In a couple of days, we'll be back and talk about the  scattering of cremains.. and some final thoughts...and maybe share this site with friends
who might find this helpful.
www.myundertakings.blogspot.com
You can comment on any of my posts in the comment
section that follows each. SS

Questions on cremation, part 1

When I'm out doing presentations on my book Undertakings
of an Undertaker, more and more people are asking a stream
of questions about cremation; the process, the logistics,
the ups and downs. I've found out also that in most of my
presentations, less than half of those usually in attendance do
NOT have a personal relationship with a funeral director.

My question back is why not? We all have a family doctor, a
dentist, maybe an accountant or tax person, maybe a vet...
why not a funeral director? It makes sense to have a relationship
ahead of time instead of waiting till you actually need one.

Most of the questions I get at presentations are about cremation.

Three decades ago, about 4% of those in the country chose
cremation... it is now at about 50%...yes 50%!

More people want this form of disposition, but most are not
sure why... they just seem to be leaning that way.

So with these next few posts, we'll talk about it. And there is
a lot to be considered.

First; you need to talk to someone in your family about your
wish for this to happen. At the time of death is not a good
time to sit around an arrangement table and try to sort all of
it out. I've seen families almost in 'feuds' if you will about
whether a member of a family is going to be cremated.

If you want it for yourself...write it down...let your family
know your wishes...do NOT put it in your will... sometimes
it's weeks later that a will is read.

Most all funeral homes now have a pre-arrangement form
which will help you put things in order before the time of
death... pick up one of these forms and put your wishes in
black and white. Simple.

Now; the process. On a death certificate, all of your
pertinent information is listed. One blank will say,
Final place of disposition. In New York, if you are
to be buried, the name of the cemetery will be listed
here. If you are going to be cremated, the name of
the crematory/town/city will be listed. In New York,
the state considers this is where your final remains
ends up... regardless of whether the ashes will be
buried somewhere else or not.

Now if you've decided it's for you....then what?
Will your ashes (cremains) be buried? Do you
want them scattered? Maybe separated in different
containers, etc? Oh, my... much to consider here..

Will talk about all of this in the next post, in a couple
of days...so come back for it. And if you have
friends who might be helped by all of this... tell
them to jump on here at
myundertakings.blogspot.com
And any questions can also be posted in the comment
section below each post...so by all means use it
if you like.  See you soon. SS

Third anniversary...

Next week, March 15th  will be the third anniversary of my
self published book, Undertakings of an Undertaker.

I can not believe how the months have slipped away. And
according to the publisher Book Stand Publishing, it is still
doing great in four or five different categories that they
list. So I'm most pleased. And it's because of you, my
friends and followers who have made it possible.

Some more notes next week about it. My new short
story book Tales Unleashed will be off to them soon,
and you'l be hearing more about that..

And my western novel circa 1865 Tucson, continues to
move toward it's finish line...maybe late summer... not quite
sure yet.

Have a great day all...stay safe.. think spring...and
take care of one another!  SS

on "Find a Grave.com'..

Yesterday, had the chance to speak before seniors a the
Almond, N.Y. Union of Churches.  After a great lunch
I spoke for quite a bit about asking questions 'ahead' of
time if you will, in order to put one's house in order.

It's surprising how many people have things in their
mind but have never verbalized it or better yet,
written it down.  I'm a firm believer in setting
something up ahead of time.. and letting your
family members know your wishes.

Anyway during the discussion about the funeral
business and genealogy..I recommended a site
called Find A Grave. com. I've been going there
for years, and am a contributor. You can do the
same...you can add pictures, obituaries.. make
requests of others to help you with genealogy
searches etc. It's a pretty impressive place. You
can also look up famous people to see where they
were 'placed' after death. 

You'll spend several hours there pretty quickly.. so
give yourself some time. 

I'll be going back to Almond on April 10th at 5:30
to speak at the Almond Library.. maybe I'll see
you there!

On the loss of 'Winchester'...

CREDIT: 20TH CENTURY FOX/KOBAL/REX/SHUTT

David Ogden Stiers, best known for his role as the arrogant surgeon Major Charles Emerson Winchester III on “MASH,” died Saturday. He was 75.

His agent, Mitchell K. Stubbs, tweeted that he died of bladder cancer at his home in Newport, Ore.

For his work on “MASH,” Stiers was twice Emmy nominated for outstanding supporting actor in a comedy or variety or music series, in 1981 and 1982, and he earned a third Emmy nomination for his performance in NBC miniseries “The First Olympics: Athens 1896” as William Milligan Sloane, the founder of the U.S. Olympic Committee.

Winchester was indeed funny. He played the 'odd' man if you will.. the one who just

didn't want to fit into a MASH unit so far away from his beloved Boston.

R.I.P. Winchester...it was a magnificent series... and you were a great part of it.