With 35 years spent in the funeral business, I penned my memoir book Undertakings of an Undertaker in 2015, and a new fiction short story book Tales Unleashed in 2019. I'm intrigued by 'unusual' type stories and will be presenting some here for you..please stop in often! (following each post here, you may leave a comment by clicking on 'no comments' ..then leave yours!
Thursday, June 30, 2016
Flying at the Sky Rovers field, Phelps N.Y.
Nothing like burning a little fuel at the r.c. field on a nice summer's day... this is a 62 inch
wing span .40 glow fuel engine airplane that's nice and stable...just a 'putt around' in the sky
model if you will.
Tuesday, June 28, 2016
"you'll shoot your eye out kid"
How could any of us forget those lines from that great 80's movie a
Christmas Story? What started out as a low budget, get-it-out quick flick
became a real icon in the film world and is seen non stop over the holidays.
Poor Ralphie wanted that red ryder bb gun so bad he could taste it...back in the
fifties and sixties we all wanted that bb gun.. and most of us had one... and guess
what? No one I know ever lost an eye to one... although I'm sure it happened
somewhere, unfortunate it as it may be.
My brothers and I hunted sparrows and pigeons with our bb guns...had contests
actually.....who could get the most....and most days the birds were the winners when
we couldn't hit the barn wall even with a blind fold on.
We went from bb guns to twenty two's... to shotguns and so forth. Never had a cannon
or a hand grenade, although we did have a few fire crackers from time to time...
those things did smart when they went off in your hand!
My brother Ed and I set off a homemade fire cracker I had made from stuff I got thru
the U.S. mail.....put it in an old desk up the creek... leveled that sucker... good thing we
were both back fifty yards plus.
Can't imagine what the next generation will do for fun....electronics and computer boards
have taken over the young people....maybe that's a good thing....I just don't think it will
have the feel of pouring those bb's into the storage part of the bb gun, cockin' that
thing and letting it fly....
The younger people probably will never get to hear that saying..."you'll shoot your eye
out kid." I kind of feel sorry for them actually. I won't give mine up.. they'll have to
pry it from my old withered, skinny arms someday.
Friday, June 24, 2016
A Black Cat in October
(from the book Undertakings of an Undertaker)
(from the book Undertakings of an Undertaker)
It was a terrific fall day in
mid-October. The sky was brilliant blue, and white rolling clouds raced from
west to east as the afternoon’s late day sun moved to make its exit over the
crimson maple tree out front. The
afternoon’s calling hours had gone quite well, and a good number
of people had shown up to pay their respects to the current occupant of the
reposing room. It was my usual practice to be at the front door to open and
close, greet people as they entered, asking for their wraps when appropriate,
and to point out the register stand which would
accept their signature for the family.
And so the afternoon was gone. The family had left the funeral home; now
it was time to pick up, run the vacuum, check the restroom, check the deceased,
yes, check the deceased. It was not
unusual that during calling hours, visitors would place things in the casket or
even on the deceased. Those items could
range from notes, to playing cards, to more bizarre items. Once, years before, I had found a note, wide
open, telling the deceased that he still owed the visitor some money, but not
to worry about it! That note was folded
and neatly tucked into the man’s suit. The family wouldn't need to be aware of that
one. I learned several years before to
expect almost anything at any time, and that was the rule in funeral
service.
The brief two hour break between the
afternoon and evening sets of calling hours really wasn’t lengthy enough for any
time to rest. A quick bite to eat,
quicker shave and perhaps a clean shirt, and it was back at the front door,
ready to greet the family as they returned for the evening calling hours. The porch, step and sidewalk lights were all
lit and generated a warm glow, leading from the street to the funeral home
entrance. A brief wind gust blew autumn leaves across the walkway as the family
entered and went into the parlor to await the evening’s visitors. Evenings were usually quite busy at the
funeral home. People were done with work, had had dinner and were accustomed to
visit, view the deceased, and sign the register book. It was tradition,
tradition that had gone on for decades in small towns and cities all over the
country.
As I stood at the entrance chatting with an
old friend, I looked out the front door and saw a black cat making its way up
the sidewalk. His devilish eyes shined from the walkway lights as he swaggered
his way up the sidewalk, up the four steps and to the front door. He paused. I
opened the door to step out, but before I could, he stepped in! Not stopping, the cat made a quick left,
walked past the register stand and straight toward the casket and family about
twelve yards ahead. Those sitting in
chairs stopped chatting, their eyes pulled to the feline, as he made his way
into the front room. The guest never stopped, went to the casket, did a U-turn,
walked back out the exact same path, exited the funeral home, and meandered
down the walkway.
My
friend Kenny asked, "Friend of yours?"
"Never saw the beast before," I
said.
It was October, Halloween was just around
the corner, and a black cat visited the local funeral parlor. It kind of all fit together very
appropriately, I thought. We were only
missing a thunder and lightening storm, but we'll save that for another time.
And I had made one error with that October evening visitor: I failed to get him
or her to sign the register book.
Wednesday, June 22, 2016
interview on Artist First radio network...
For my new readers around the country, and in Canada....here is a link to my interview with
Tony Kay on the Artist First radio network......he is the host of Authors First, which is part
of Artist radio network... he's a terrific interviewer, very warm and pleasant, it was great to
be on the air with him..
the link is http://www.artistfirst2.com/Authors-First_2015-11-10_Stanley_Swan.mp3
Monday, June 20, 2016
A new resting place for Miranda
On a recent excavation project beneath a home in San
Francisco, a small child's metal
casket was unearthed containing what appeared to be a girl,
approx. age of three.
She was blond, well preserved and holding a red rose. The casket was presumed to be
one that was missed when a large cemetery there was moved in
1933. Not knowing who
she was, city officials named her Miranda, purchased a new
grave site and head stone
for her, and she was again laid to rest. She had been deceased probably for at least
140-150 years, as that is when her burial case was made. It was known as a Fisk
burial case. It was
made of cast iron usually, had a plate glass window or windows
in the top, and was sealed tight. Because of it’s air tight
capacity, decomposition over
the years was virtually arrested. And if she was embalmed, and a good chance
she was,
that would add also to the pristine condition of her
remains. A picture of her casket is below.
Interesting notes about the Fisk container:
The Fisk metallic burial case was designed and
patented by Almond D. Fisk under US Patent No. 5920 on November 14, 1848. In
1849, the cast iron coffin was publicly unveiled at the New York State
Agricultural Society Fair in Syracuse, N.Y. and the American Institute Exhibition
in New York City.
The cast iron coffins or burial cases were
popular in the mid–1800s among wealthier families. While pine coffins in the
1850s would have cost around $2, a Fisk coffin could command a price upwards of
$100. Nonetheless, the metallic coffins were highly desirable by more affluent
individuals and families for their potential to deter grave robbers.
The case was custom-formed to the body
many times, were quite ornate and had a glass window plate for viewing the face
of the deceased, without the risk of exposure to odor or pathogens. The
airtight cases were valued for their potential to preserve the remains of
individuals who died far from home, until they could be shipped back for burial
by the family. This type of burial in the 19th century
indicated that the individual buried was someone of cultural and societal
importance.
Saturday, June 11, 2016
James Dean and his #130
I had so many requests on my blog to get this 'shorty' out... so here it is...
how many of you were around in 1955? Do you remember it?
how many of you were around in 1955? Do you remember it?
Actor James Dean… did he have a premonition, or did he just
live in ‘high gear’
with dire consequences?
No one can say for sure.
He had a rough start as a kid, but received some
great breaks early along the way that helped propel him to
stardom.
Now this part is strange. Just seven months before his
accident, Dean posed
laying in a casket in Fairmount, In., his hometown. The
story says that the
funeral home where it happened was actually the same firm that would have
his services in the days that followed his accident in
California. Weird.
When Dean wasn’t acting, he was racing fast cars… he lived
for it… and
ultimately died for it.
On Friday, Sept. 30, 1955, Dean and his mechanic,
Rolf Wuetherich, drove Dean’s new Porsche 550 Spyder to a
weekend race
in Salinas, California.
Now here’s another strange…at 3:30 pm, just 3 hours before
the fatal crash,
they were stopped south of Bakersfield and given a speeding
ticket. Little
did that officer know that day that he would probably be one
of the last
ever to have interaction with James Dean.
Later in the day, on Route 466, a man named Donald
Turnupseed (how’s that
for a handle?) turning at an intersection collided with
Dean’s Porsche. The
two vehicles hit almost head on, the 550 Spyder was demolished
at impact.
Wuetherich the passenger was seriously injured, yet
survived. Dean lived
but only for a few moments. He had received major facial and
head trauma,
a broken neck and both arms were severely traumatized as
well. At his
funeral, his coffin was closed because of the horrific
injuries he received.
The pictures are of Dean at the photo shoot, and his death
certificate
issued a year later.
He was 24. What would
James Dean life have been if he had lived to
continue his career?
We were all robbed that day of Dean’s potential
future performances……..makes you wonder what the zenith of
his
career could have been.
Foot notes: The second driver Turnsupseed (and I’ve seen
five different
spellings for this man’s name) only had minor injuries in
the mishap.
Wuetherich, the mechanic riding with Dean suffered a broken
leg but strangely enough WAS KILLED in another car crash in 1981!
Finally: where is the car? Rumor has it that the car is
behind a hidden wall
in a building in Whatcom County Washington… and the story
says it
will be revealed maybe THIS YEAR once custody issues are
solved..stay tuned!
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