As promised the other day.....here is a chapter that didn't get published in the book, but it's most interesting, I think you'll enjoy it.
The most asked questions…
You've heard the questions before… do people sit
up after they die? Does someone's hair and finger nails
continue to grow after death? Have you
ever witnessed
a body move while you were preparing
it for burial?
Is it a law that you have to be
embalmed? How long
does a body remain recognizable after
it's been
buried? Where do you find a reputable
funeral director?
These are just a sampling of probably
the most asked
questions that people in the funeral
profession get
on a regular basis…whether if it's in a formal meeting
with a family or at the coffee shop
where people just
sit around and chat. So let's take a little time and
dispel a few rumors here…and hopefully answer some of
the questions that may have been
formulated from old
television movies and/or urban legend
itself.
Dead bodies do not sit up…no matter how many intriguing
stories you may have had this scenario
offered in…
it just doesn't happen. Within a few
hours of death
chemical changes start occurring with
the tissues of
the body…these chemical changes start the
muscles to
become stiff and is called rigor
mortis. Rigor starts
within a few hours of death, is at
it's maximum usually
within twelve hours of death and
usually dissipates
after twenty four hours. At it's peak,
rigor that is
present will make the limbs stiff and
difficult to move
or bend. An embalmer who is readying a
body for embalming
will help 'break' rigor my massaging
and moving the
limbs; this massage will also help to
move blood clots
in the vascular system which would
have started forming
at the time of death. Clotting is one
of the real problems
sometimes encountered during
embalming, and there are
special fluids used by the embalmer to
help dissolve
the clotted blood. I have never
witnessed a case of
rigor causing such massive muscle
contraction that it
would cause a body to sit up.
The old movie images of caskets being
dug up to find
bodies with hair and fingernails that
have grown after
death is also a myth. Hair and
fingernails are living
tissue and need fresh blood supply and
glucose in order
to generate new cell production. When
the heart stops,
the circulatory system also stops,
thus no new nutrients
going to the body tissues for repair
and renewal.
After death the tissues of the body
start drying out
and shrinking, and sometimes that
could give the appearance
of hair and nails 'growing', but
again, nutrition to the
tissues has ceased, and so the growth
process.
Do you have to be embalmed? It varies
state to state but
in most cases you do not. Some states
would require a body
to be embalmed if it were to be
transported on a common
carrier; train, airplane, ship, etc.,
or if the body
had a communicable disease, then a
body might be required
to be embalmed. Most funeral homes
would require an
embalming if there were to be public
calling hours where
the body would be viewed in an open
casket. Funeral
directing is controlled by the States'
department of health
and its bureau of funeral directing.
You can access those
departments on the internet to find
out what laws apply
to the state that you live in.
How long will a body remain
recognizable after burial?
If the embalmer has done his or her
job well, and the
remains are buried in a sealed casket
and or vault, the
body will remain recognizable for
sometimes decades or
more. Famed singer J.P. Richardson
Jr., also
known as the Big Bopper was killed in
that horrific
airplane crash in February of 1959.
Five decades later
his son had the Big Bopper exhumed and
re-autopsied.
Upon opening the casket they found the
Big Bopper was
fully recognizable… the embalmer had done his job well!
This is not an unusual story. The key to longevity after
burial is keeping the remains dry....if
a grave is wet or
continually cycling ground water in
and out.. remains will
decay at a rapid rate.
Finding a good reputable funeral
director. Most families
only experience a death every fifteen
to twenty years.
Taking care of someone's loved one is
a very personal
business. You want a director who is
experienced, honest,
dependable and diligent. And you want
a funeral home who
has a smaller case volume; that is you
don't want to be
'lost' in the system. Asking clergy is
a good place to
start in finding a reputable firm.
Most clergy can make
a recommendation based on past working
relationships with
a funeral director. If you are just
'price shopping', that
is comparing funeral homes costs like
apples to apples,
you can request their general price
list…they are required
to make it available to you. You then
can look at their
costs of arrangements, removal,
embalming, use of
facilities, vehicles, and so on. Their
casket and vault
price lists will be on separate
documents but will also
be available to you.
In my years of funeral service, I have
discovered that the
best service comes from a smaller
funeral home; one doing
maybe fifty, seventy five or one
hundred death calls a
year. If you choose a larger firm,
make sure that the
firm can guarantee that the same
director will be tending
to your needs through out the three,
four or five day
process. You are paying a lot of money
for their services,
you have a right not to be handed off
to two, three or
four different people. If they can't
guarantee you this…
look elsewhere. A good funeral home
will continue to serve
the same family generation after
generation, that is how
their business survives. Personal
service and your satis-
faction must be their ultimate goal.
Most funeral
homes now have web sites which will
give you good
information about their goods and
services and the little
extras they may do to help you and
your family.
You are going to have a pretty large
investment in
burying or cremating a loved one, so it
just makes
good sense to spend a little time in
advance to seek
out a funeral firm that will give you
the services
you want at a price which will be
acceptable to you.
Are there non reputable funeral
directors out there?
The answer of course is yes. Like all
businesses there
are those that are marginal or
questionable in their
dealings, this is why it's so
important ahead of time
to seek out a firm that you can have
total confidence
in. You are going to bury or cremate
your loved one
just once, you want everything to go
smoothly with no
discrepancies, disappointments or
doubts so be aggressive
in your search for the right funeral
director. If you
take the time to do this, you will
find great healing,
solace and peace in your heart and
mind. A life well
lived is indeed a life worth
remembering, so make the
memories worthwhile.
