'The most asked'....

As promised the other day.....here is a chapter that didn't get published in the book, but it's most interesting, I think you'll enjoy it.

The most asked questions…

    You've heard the questions before… do people sit

up after they die?  Does someone's hair and finger nails

continue to grow after death? Have you ever witnessed

a body move while you were preparing it for burial?

Is it a law that you have to be embalmed? How long

does a body remain recognizable after it's been

buried? Where do you find a reputable funeral director?

These are just a sampling of probably the most asked

questions that people in the funeral profession get

on a regular basis…whether if it's in a formal meeting

with a family or at the coffee shop where people just

sit around and chat.  So let's take a little time and

dispel a few rumors here…and hopefully answer some of

the questions that may have been formulated from old

television movies and/or urban legend itself.

Dead bodies do not sit up…no matter how many intriguing

stories you may have had this scenario offered in…

it just doesn't happen. Within a few hours of death

chemical changes start occurring with the tissues of

the body…these chemical changes start the muscles to

become stiff and is called rigor mortis. Rigor starts

within a few hours of death, is at it's maximum usually

within twelve hours of death and usually dissipates

after twenty four hours. At it's peak, rigor that is

present will make the limbs stiff and difficult to move

or bend. An embalmer who is readying a body for embalming

will help 'break' rigor my massaging and moving the

limbs; this massage will also help to move blood clots

in the vascular system which would have started forming

at the time of death. Clotting is one of the real problems

sometimes encountered during embalming, and there are

special fluids used by the embalmer to help dissolve

the clotted blood. I have never witnessed a case of

rigor causing such massive muscle contraction that it

would cause a body to sit up.

The old movie images of caskets being dug up to find

bodies with hair and fingernails that have grown after

death is also a myth. Hair and fingernails are living

tissue and need fresh blood supply and glucose in order

to generate new cell production. When the heart stops,

the circulatory system also stops, thus no new nutrients

going to the body tissues for repair and renewal. 

After death the tissues of the body start drying out

and shrinking, and sometimes that could give the appearance

of hair and nails 'growing', but again, nutrition to the

tissues has ceased, and so the growth process.  

Do you have to be embalmed? It varies state to state but

in most cases you do not. Some states would require a body

to be embalmed if it were to be transported on a common

carrier; train, airplane, ship, etc., or if the body

had a communicable disease, then a body might be required

to be embalmed. Most funeral homes would require an

embalming if there were to be public calling hours where

the body would be viewed in an open casket. Funeral

directing is controlled by the States' department of health

and its bureau of funeral directing. You can access those

departments on the internet to find out what laws apply

to the state that you live in.

How long will a body remain recognizable after burial?

If the embalmer has done his or her job well, and the

remains are buried in a sealed casket and or vault, the

body will remain recognizable for sometimes decades or

more. Famed singer J.P. Richardson Jr., also

known as the Big Bopper was killed in that horrific

airplane crash in February of 1959. Five decades later

his son had the Big Bopper exhumed and re-autopsied.

Upon opening the casket they found the Big Bopper was

fully recognizable… the embalmer had done his job well!

This is not an unusual story.  The key to longevity after

burial is keeping the remains dry....if a grave is wet or

continually cycling ground water in and out.. remains will

decay at a rapid rate.

Finding a good reputable funeral director. Most families

only experience a death every fifteen to twenty years.

Taking care of someone's loved one is a very personal

business. You want a director who is experienced, honest,

dependable and diligent. And you want a funeral home who

has a smaller case volume; that is you don't want to be

'lost' in the system. Asking clergy is a good place to

start in finding a reputable firm. Most clergy can make

a recommendation based on past working relationships with

a funeral director. If you are just 'price shopping', that

is comparing funeral homes costs like apples to apples,

you can request their general price list…they are required

to make it available to you. You then can look at their

costs of arrangements, removal, embalming, use of

facilities, vehicles, and so on. Their casket and vault

price lists will be on separate documents but will also

be available to you.

In my years of funeral service, I have discovered that the

best service comes from a smaller funeral home; one doing

maybe fifty, seventy five or one hundred death calls a

year. If you choose a larger firm, make sure that the

firm can guarantee that the same director will be tending

to your needs through out the three, four or five day

process. You are paying a lot of money for their services,

you have a right not to be handed off to two, three or

four different people. If they can't guarantee you this…

look elsewhere. A good funeral home will continue to serve

the same family generation after generation, that is how

their business survives. Personal service and your satis-

faction must be their ultimate goal. Most funeral

homes now have web sites which will give you good

information about their goods and services and the little

extras they may do to help you and your family.

You are going to have a pretty large investment in

burying or cremating a loved one, so it just makes

good sense to spend a little time in advance to seek

out a funeral firm that will give you the services

you want at a price which will be acceptable to you.

Are there non reputable funeral directors out there?

The answer of course is yes. Like all businesses there

are those that are marginal or questionable in their

dealings, this is why it's so important ahead of time

to seek out a firm that you can have total confidence

in. You are going to bury or cremate your loved one

just once, you want everything to go smoothly with no

discrepancies, disappointments or doubts so be aggressive

in your search for the right funeral director. If you

take the time to do this, you will find great healing,

solace and peace in your heart and mind. A life well

lived is indeed a life worth remembering, so make the

memories worthwhile.